Countryside Vacation

For Tet, the Lunar New Year, I traveled with DiDi and J.P. to DiDi's family's house in Bac Lieu, which is one of the southernmost provinces of Viet Nam. DiDi and I left early Saturday morning to get the bus (with J.P. following on Sunday). We were dropped off at the giant bus depot and stood with our luggage, inhaling bus exhaust, for almost two hours before boarding our small 15 passenger bus. I slept almost the entire way there and only woke up for the two bathroom stops. After eight hours on the bus we arrived at DiDi's house on motorbikes and her mom, third oldest sister and her husband and baby were there to greet us warmly. They immediately fed us and gawked over my high-bridged nose and my incredibly white skin, which are two beautiful features in Vietnam. We then spent a lot of time getting to know the baby, Thinh, who just turned two years old. Once he got used to us, he was very affectionate and I realized it was the most time I'd spent around one baby. It was surprisingly enjoyable, but don't get any ideas. :) I got him a soccer ball at the end of my stay. They have a big yard and a boy needs a soccer ball.





Here are some photos of DiDi's mom's house.









The house was immensely clean and DiDi's mom worked constantly to keep it that way. She'd cook amazing food, serve it, clean up, and then clean the entire house once or twice. She hardly ever sat down and would only let us help clean dishes or prepare food a couple of times. We had to earn our keep and it was difficult to watch her do so much work as we sat around. The interesting thing about the house is that there was no running water except for one well pump in the back room. The toilet was a squat toilet that emptied straight into the small pond in back of the house and the family takes showers by soaping up and dumping buckets of clean water over themselves. The giant brown jugs are for clean water and the back of the house has a beveled cement area for washing dishes and preparing/cleaning food. That area empties straight into the small pond too. I was fascinated and it all works very well. In fact, I prefer that way of life as it's a lot of work but very rewarding and simple.



On the first night I was taken to the nearby guest house where J.P. and I rented a room. It was an unfurnished apartment but had the necessary mattress and bathroom. It was clean and perfect for our purposes-- a place to crash at night. The bathroom did have a gigantic spider that watched us from its elaborate web on the ceiling and the "shower" was a hand sprayer usually found on a sink but it was all good. I slept like a baby except for one night where my anti-malaria pills finally induced vivid and disturbing dreams where I was a Jew in 1940's Germany. I'm not sure I survived in both dreams. In one I somehow escaped from a concentration camp and in the second I hid Lela and some other women in an attic. Anyways, my head was shaved in both dreams and I had trouble falling back asleep afterwards.




This is the brother-in-law that J.P. and I called "Macgyver" because he set up our mosquito net with the plastic wrapping from the mattress. Genius.

We paid for the room, checked it out, and then DiDi took me back to her house for the night as she didn't want me staying there alone that night. I slept next to her in the front room of their house under a pink mosquito net, of course. I awoke in the middle of the night by something crawling in my shirt and managed to catch the cockroach and release him outside the mosquito net. I was too tired to care and it's funny now. J.P. arrived on Sunday afternoon and we spent most of the week helping around the house in exchange for our favorite Vietnamese food for every meal. Dessert was always fresh fruit which was awesome. Everything was amazingly delicious and DiDi's mom made sure we ate until we were full. We usually napped and then awoke to food again. It was awesome. In fact, this particular vacation was very much like being a small child on a family vacation. We didn't worry about anything and the food and plans for the day just materialized. When I spoke Vietnamese to DiDi's mom she often rewarded me with a kiss on the head and a tight hug. I had always assumed that kisses were a pretty standard thing across the world, but Vietnamese kisses are given more with the nose and the smack we usually think of as the kissing sound is replaced with a sniff. Who knew?

One funny story about DiDi's mom-- I discovered that her cutting board was split in half and went out and bought her a new one. She loved the new one but put it on the shelf and said she'd be keeping it there on the shelf in the packaging for the memories. I tried to steal the broken one but that didn't work either. :)

DiDi and I accompanied her mom to the market a couple times and there were always interesting things going on there. Markets in rural Viet Nam often sell live animals, dead animals, fruit, and other household necessities all in one small spot of land. It was packed with people the day before Tet as everyone was scrambling to get the food they needed before the holiday.








(Hint: that pig head is not attached to anything but a rusty hook that suspends it over a meat stand)

On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (the three days of Tet), we got on the motorbikes of DiDi's brother-in-laws and traveled through the countryside to visit their family and friends. It was really sunny and the air was very clean which was immensely enjoyable. The roads would begin as pavement and eventually deteriorate--from pavement to gravel to dirt. The bridges were interesting as well and at some times I wasn't sure they'd hold the motorbike, the driver, and me.





We would reach a house/hut and be offered soft drinks and traditional Tet candies as well as the roasted watermelon seeds that everyone ate like little birds. Vietnam is interesting in the way--we could drive about an hour in any direction and find some of DiDi's blood relatives. They tend to go to school nearby and then move to a nearby house, get married young (at about my age) and begin having children. We visited three out of four of DiDi's sisters' houses as well as many of her aunts and even her grandmother's house. They were all immensely enjoyable adventures and they even took us to visit their neighbors at times. We drank goat penis wine (it's a fertility thing), rice wine, etc. and had a lot of fun with the brother-in-laws and every visit was so much fun. We'd sit in a circle on the ground and eat, drink, and laugh. They thought our Vietnamese was hilarious and I enjoyed being with then all. DiDi's little cousins loved having smiling white people around and often held my hands while walking through their villages. The villages were the most rural I had ever seen and I asked DiDi's oldest sister, Anh, if I could come back and work in her backyard, which is a shrimp farm, in exchange for a floor to sleep on and some food. She thought it was hilarious but I was serious.

And if the United States Customs Bureau asks, I did not touch any farm animals in Viet Nam. :)






DiDi, her crazy little cousin "Nino" (pronounced Nee-Naw) and DiDi's beautiful mother)


Two of DiDi's brother-in-laws, J.P., and me at a nearby Buddhist temple. We visited a couple times during the vacation and lit incense and prayed. DiDi's mom is a serious Buddhist and our meals often began with her lighting incense and offering some food to her ancestors before we ate.




DiDi's father


the aforementioned goat penis wine


DiDi's nieces with a baby goat






DiDi (the baby of the family) and three of her four sisters


one of DiDi's crazy nephews terrorizing a duck


fun on motorbikes-- DiDi's sister Phien and one of her nieces




DiDi's mom and her mother, who is now 80 years old. She told us to come back next Tet with our spouses...


Silhouette of grandma


Four generations!


The best bathroom ever--it utilizes naturally running water. However, it might be a bit precarious to navigate in the dark of the night.


Note the dead rat in the lower right-hand corner. I love how one can take black and white photos of Viet Nam and they look like they could've been taken 60 years ago. :)

At home, neighbors came out to stare and even in town where DiDi's mom lives, people would pass by the house to look at us in action. It felt a bit like being in a zoo and I missed being ignored. One afternoon I was roused from my nap to appear in photos with some of the older neighbors' kids. J.P. and I were simply props which was a bit annoying to us. On the other hand, the neighbor's kids thought it was hilarious that I could talk to them in Vietnamese and I eventually played some ball with them.





That was pretty much the entire trip. On Thursday night we said a sad goodbye to DiDi's family and we promised to visit again. Her mom even packed us our favorite snacks for the road. I really did not want to leave the warmth of DiDi's family and realized that I'd hardly been homesick this week. Then DiDi, J.P., and I boarded another small bus and tried to sleep despite the crazy driving and uneven roads/bridges. We arrived back in Ho Chi Minh City at about 3 AM this morning and finally got back to the house and were in bed at 4:00.

Tonight we'll have dinner with friends and hopefully we'll clean the apartment tomorrow. :) Miss you all and keep those emails comin'!